16.10.10

DENIAL

the budget process has finally passed, yet still many unfinished and incomplete that much work are need in filling up the hole.

I had been filling like doing a final project and maybe that's a must within the school?
and much of y short coming returns again.

slow(which come from easy distractions, other projects, out of my mind)
lack of communication skill and organization skill
and probably too much self evaluation

set design in such context give me a total new interpretations.
it becomes a series of decision making that's far from artistic

I learnt that if I can't come up with a brilliant idea I have to come back to the conventional approach. which is always safe. and we need such bottom line as no matter what THE SHOW MUST GO ON.

yet. i deny.
people comment me on I don't have a strong idea to fight.
one is yes as I don't have strong connection to the piece deep inside.
I don't want I see certain growth in the other self ,and yet I'm deteriating.
I'm stepping backward.